Frequently Asked Questions

Interpersonal Violence is a broad umbrella term used to characterize acts of abuse or aggression that occur in a romantic relationship or have aspects of a sexual nature between two individuals who may have previously not been in a romantic relationship. Acts of interpersonal violence can occur on a broad spectrum of severity and frequency. Terms that may fall under the Interpersonal Violence umbrella are intimate partner violence, dating violence, sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, sexual assault, rape, stalking, catcalling, groping, sodomy, sexual exploitation, non-consentual recording of sexual activity, and gender-based harassment.

If you’re unsure, Start with Safe! Our team is always happy to provide a consultation to better understand a situation and guide you on the next steps. You can schedule an in-person consultation during our business hours (8:30 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday through Friday), or if you have concerns after hours, you can always access us through our 24/7 helpline at 336.758.5285.

The Safe Office can help students understand the role of Title IX, expectations of the Title IX reporting process, and their feelings around making a report of sexual or gender-based violence to Title IX. The Safe Office is a confidential resource, meaning that we do not have to report on your behalf. We support survivors to feel empowered to make decisions that feel right to them, on their timeline. Safe Office Counselors/Advocates can assist students with setting up informational meetings with Title IX and accompany students to those meetings for additional support.

Unfortunately, shame, stigma, social pressures, and fear of retaliation are all common concerns for survivors of interpersonal violence. The Safe Office believes survivors and have the skills to help them work through barriers or concerns they may have that impact healing.

There is never an excuse for interpersonal violence to occur.  If you have consumed alcohol or other substances and are incapacitated, you are also unable to provide consent for sexual activity.  The Safe Office Counselor/Advocates can provide guidance for your specific experience, including validating harm that may have occurred and your rights, including reporting rights, even if alcohol or drugs were involved. Learn more about alcohol and drug-facilitated sexual assault {insert link here to page}

The Safe Office is a specialized campus resource specific for concerns related to interpersonal violence, meaning that the individuals involved have had some type of romantic /intimate relationship or sexual encounter, and/or there are concerns of stalking (either by an individual who is known or unknown to the survivor).  If you are having a conflict with someone such as a peer, friend, roommate, teammate, etc., we encourage you to seek out the following campus resources:

• University Counseling Center
• Office of Student Conduct
• WE CARE team 

When someone you care for has been harmed by interpersonal violence, having support and help from friends is essential. Here are some steps you can take to help a friend:

• Believe your friend. Tell them interpersonal violence is not their fault. Avoid asking questions that may sound judgmental or blaming (i.e. “What were you doing alone in their room?” or “Why did you have so much to drink?”).
• Understand that people respond differently to being harmed by interpersonal violence. Some people may be crying, while others may appear to be in shock or seem very calm and rational. Expect a range of emotions from your friend, and remember that regardless of how your friend is reacting emotionally, they need support.
• Listen to your friend. Tell them you want to be there for them. Let your friend tell as much or as little about what happened as they would like, and avoid asking a lot of questions about the details of what happened.
• Encourage your friend to seek support and medical care. Let them know about resources such as Safe Office and Deacon Health.  It is always recommended to seek out preventative care in the case of being sexually assaulted, including STI testing and pregnancy testing for biologically female-identifying survivors.  You can offer to call for them, walk them to the Safe Office or Deacon Health, or be a support if they need to go to a local hospital.
• Empower your friend. Let them make their own decisions including how and when to seek help. However, if you are concerned about your friend’s safety at any time, get help immediately by calling 911 or University Police at 336.758.5911, or accessing our 24/7 confidential helpline at 336.758.5285.
• Continue supporting them during the recovery process. Recovering from instances of interpersonal violence is different for everyone, yet most survivors report that continued support from friends and family is an important part of the healing process. In addition to the Safe Office, you can also encourage friends to utilize other campus resources, including the University Counseling Center, the Office of the Chaplain, or off-campus at Family Services. Working with a professional can help speed the recovery process.
• Get support for yourself. Having a friend who has been impacted by interpersonal violence can be a very emotional experience. Be aware of your limits (remember, you are a friend, not a counselor), take care of yourself, and seek support as needed. Even if your friend is not ready to get help, you can use the resources available to you.

Want more information on how to support friends? Visit Love Is Respect for even more information.

Learning someone you are dating has been harmed in the past by an occurrence of interpersonal violence can trigger a lot of complex thoughts and feelings for their partner and span a vast range for different people. Here are some steps you can take to support your partner after a disclosure:

• Believe your partner. Tell them interpersonal violence is not their fault. Avoid asking questions that may sound judgmental or blaming (i.e. “What were you doing alone in their room?” or “Why did you have so much to drink?”).
• Understand that people respond differently to being harmed by interpersonal violence. Some people may be crying, while others may appear to be in shock or seem very calm and rational. Expect a range of emotions from your partner, and remember that regardless of how your partner is reacting emotionally, they need support.
• Listen to your partner. Tell them you want to be there for them. Let your partner tell as much or as little about what happened as they would like, and avoid asking a lot of questions about the details of what happened.
• Encourage your partner to seek support outside of you and medical care. Let them know about resources such as Safe Office and Deacon Health.  It is always recommended to seek out preventative care in the case of being sexually assaulted, including STI testing and pregnancy testing for biologically female-identifying survivors.  You can offer to call for them, walk them to the Safe Office or Deacon Health, or be a support if they need to go to a local hospital.
• Empower your partner. Let them make their own decisions including how and when to seek help. However, if you are concerned about your partner’s safety at any time, get help immediately by calling 911 or University Police at 336.758.5911, or accessing our 24/7 confidential helpline at 336.758.5285.
• Continue supporting them during the recovery process. Recovering from instances of interpersonal violence is different for everyone, yet most survivors report that continued support from friends and family is an important part of the healing process. In addition to the Safe Office, you can also encourage your partner to utilize other campus resources, including the University Counseling Center, the Office of the Chaplain, or off-campus at Family Services. Working with a professional can help speed the recovery process.
• Learn more about healthy relationship dynamics.  Being intentional about having healthy relationship dynamics in your relationship can help survivors while moving through their healing process.  Love is Respect is a great resource to learn more about the relationship spectrum, healthy intimate relationships, consent, warning signs of unhealthy relationships, and ways to support others.  
• Get support for yourself. Learning your partner has been impacted by interpersonal violence can be a very emotional experience. Be aware of your limits (remember, you are a partner, not a counselor), take care of yourself, and seek support as needed.  Remember it is not your job to ‘fix’ what has occurred.  Even if your partner is not ready to get help, you can use the resources available to you.

As a parent, guardian, or caregiver of a student, you never want to imagine your child could be harmed by interpersonal violence. But for survivors, having support and help from family is essential. Here are some steps you can take to help your student if something has occurred, or you are concerned that something has occurred:

• Believe your student. Tell them interpersonal violence is not their fault. Avoid asking questions that may sound judgmental or blaming (e.g., “Didn’t I teach you better than that?”, “What were you doing alone in their room?” or “Why did you have so much to drink?”).  
• Understand that people respond differently to being harmed by interpersonal violence. Some may cry, while others may appear to be in shock or seem very calm and rational. Expect a range of emotions from your student, and remember that regardless of how your student is reacting emotionally, they need support.
• Listen to your student. Tell them you want to be there for them. Let your student tell as much or as little about what happened as they would like, and avoid asking a lot of questions about the details of what happened.
• Encourage your student to seek support and medical care. Let them know about campus resources available to them such as the Safe Office and Deacon Health.  It is always recommended to seek out preventative care in the case of being sexually assaulted, including STI testing and pregnancy testing for biologically female-identifying survivors. Remember, if your student is age 18 or older, protected information can only be released to a parent or guardian if a release of information is signed by the student. 
• Empower your student. Let them make their own decisions including how and when to seek help. However, if you are concerned about your student’s safety at any time, get help immediately by calling 911 or University Police at 336.758.5911, or accessing our 24/7 confidential helpline at 336.758.5285.
• Continue supporting them during the recovery process. Recovering from instances of interpersonal violence is different for everyone, yet most survivors report that continued support from friends and family is an important part of the healing process. In addition to the Safe Office, you can also encourage your student to utilize other campus resources, including the University Counseling Center, the Office of the Chaplain, or off-campus at Family Services. Working with a professional can help speed the recovery process.
• Get support for yourself. Having a student who has been impacted by interpersonal violence can be a very emotional experience. Be aware of your own thoughts and feelings that may surface as you help your student navigate their experience, especially if you yourself are a survivor of interpersonal violence, and take care of yourself. We encourage you to seek support as needed, too. 

Want more information on how to support friends? Visit Love Is Respect for even more information.